she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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