I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
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