so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Randomize