dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
