Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
