Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Randomize
