Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
