But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
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