my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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