My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
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