he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize
