She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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