dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
