I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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