i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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