the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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