i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
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