how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize
