oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Randomize
