weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Randomize
