my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize