I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
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