dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
We have so much sex to catch up on
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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