I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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