Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
