YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Randomize
