Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Randomize