You're completely useless in the revolution.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Randomize
