Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
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