Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Randomize
