Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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