Dude my mom stole all your condoms
...so i touched it.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
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