Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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