Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize