And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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