If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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