I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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