Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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