so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
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