i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
