In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
