she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
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