My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Randomize
