dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
