so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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