I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
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