I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize
