I'd wear matching sweaters with you
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
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