i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
