Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
