If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
