We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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