The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
