How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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