I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
