Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
