I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Randomize
