It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize