so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
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