Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
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